Life As We Know it

I’d like to offer a different perspective — mindset, if you will — on how to lead a life that works for you … for REAL, where, after a while, you’ll recognize that being on autopilot was just another way of saying that you had no idea how to get started.

Getting started is the hardest part. We tend to be so busy projecting and looking around and underneath ourselves that no wonder we’re walking around shaking our heads saying, Is it just me?

Ok, yes, I do tend to be that person who sees the glass half full. That’s only because I made my mind up when I was very young that the only person that was going to make me happy was … ME. I imagine this came about or was due to the fact that I was quite disappointed with how words rarely translated into action.

I found that in order to make things happen in life, I had to take matters into my own hands — which I did. In hindsight, I was pretty pleased with myself.

Looking back I remember being in high school, there were a number of us making plans to go skiing for March break. We needed to complete the forms and hand in our deposit to the customer service person at the lodge where we were planning to stay. As the weeks went by, I noticed that no one had sent in their forms or deposit. When I asked, most said that they decided that they didn’t want to go — some didn’t have the money, and others had an opportunity to go away with their parents.

Being ticked off and incredibly disappointed, I spoke with my parents. I was 15 and needed to see if I could go on the trip by myself. Initially, they were against it. Based on fear and worry, they thought about it, and after much conversation, more like my begging them, my parents said I could go with a few provisions. They knew I was a responsible kid as I had demonstrated time and time again my level-headedness.

They also knew how much I LOVED to ski. And, yes, they were certainly disappointed that my friends had bailed at the last minute.

Was I happy about going on a ski trip by myself? No. And yet I was determined to prove to myself that no one was going to hold me back from doing something just because others didn’t want to do it too.

The first day I arrived I felt incredibly lonely — painfully lonely — PAIN-FULLY. It was a horrible feeling. The first day I skied by myself. I could have easily called my parents to arrange to have me picked up. In fact I’m sure they would have preferred it. And yet, that would have been too easy. I knew I had to ride through this wave of loneliness to get past it.

And then … it happened …

I saw a few people that I recognized from school. People that I hadn’t hung out with before. They were happy to see me. They also couldn’t believe that I had come alone. In their eyes I was super cool — brave even!

That week we had a BLAST. It was one of the best trips I have ever been on.

Actually, in hindsight, and I hadn’t until this second recognized it. THAT, in fact, was a turning point for me. It was then that I knew that I was solely responsible for my own life, my own happiness. This created the confidence and courage for me to make other big decisions going forward.

Years later I declared to my parents one evening that I was going to travel around the world, and I did just that. I was gone for almost three years.

So, what exactly is this shift in mindset? What perspective would I like you to consider? It’s quite simple. And, it’s also quite terrifying for most.

It comes down to YOU. You’re the only one who can hold yourself back, back from the What if’s in your life. Sure, you make excuses to yourself … I’m going to guess…probably all the time. But, what if today, this moment, you chose not to hold yourself back? What if you chose to walk past fear and uncertainty to get to where you want to go — even IF you’re not quite sure exactly what that looks like.

What if in doing this it would bring you closer to discovering what excites you? After all, this is YOUR life — — no one else’s. Even if you have children — trust me — children need to see that you’re taking responsibility for your own happiness.

The other wonderful people in your life are, and trust me on this one, is a reflection of how you treat yourself. Don’t settle.